Whether you’re convincing your boss to fund your project or your
preschooler to wipe his own hiney after using the bathroom, persuasion
is a skill that's instrumental to your success in life.
Persuasive people have an uncanny ability to get you leaning toward their way of thinking. Their secret weapon is likeability. They get you to like more than their ideas; they get you to like them.
Here are the 15 tricks of the trade that exceptionally persuasive people use to their advantage.
Related: 12 Ways Successful People Handle Toxic People
The key here is to avoid getting too caught up in the back and forth of the discussion. The person you are speaking with is a person, not an opponent or a target. No matter how compelling your argument, if you fail to connect on a personal level, he or she will doubt everything you say.
Persuasive people know who they are. They are confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin. By concentrating on what drives you and makes you happy as an individual, you become a much more interesting and persuasive person than if you attempt to win people over by trying to be the person they want you to be.
Related: 13 Habits of Exceptionally Likable People
If you’re great with faces but have trouble with names, have some fun with it, and make remembering people’s names a brain exercise. When you meet someone, don’t be afraid to ask his or her name a second time if you forget it right after you hear it. You’ll need to keep the name handy if you’re going to remember it the next time you see the person.
Related: 9 Things Successful People Won't Do
A version of this article first appeared at TalentSmart.com.
Persuasive people have an uncanny ability to get you leaning toward their way of thinking. Their secret weapon is likeability. They get you to like more than their ideas; they get you to like them.
Here are the 15 tricks of the trade that exceptionally persuasive people use to their advantage.
1. They Know Their Audience
Persuasive people know their audience inside and out, and they use this knowledge to speak their audience’s language. Whether it’s toning down your assertiveness when talking to someone who is shy or cranking it up for the aggressive, high-energy type, everyone is different, and catching on to these subtleties goes a long way toward getting them to hear your point of view.Related: 12 Ways Successful People Handle Toxic People
2. They Connect
People are much more likely to accept what you have to say once they have a sense of what kind of person you are. In a negotiation study, Stanford students were asked to reach agreement in class. Without instruction of any kind, 55% of the students successfully reached agreement. However, when students were instructed to introduce themselves and share their background before attempting to reach agreement, 90% of the students did so successfully.The key here is to avoid getting too caught up in the back and forth of the discussion. The person you are speaking with is a person, not an opponent or a target. No matter how compelling your argument, if you fail to connect on a personal level, he or she will doubt everything you say.
3. They Aren’t Pushy
Persuasive people establish their ideas assertively and confidently, without being aggressive or pushy. Pushy people are a huge turn off. The in-your-face approach starts the recipient backpedaling, and before long, they’re running for the hills. Persuasive people don’t ask for much, and they don’t argue vehemently for their position because they know that subtlety is what wins people over in the long run. If you tend to come across as too aggressive, focus on being confident but calm. Don’t be impatient and overly persistent. Know that if your idea is really a good one, people will catch on if you give them time. If you don’t, they won’t catch on at all.4. They Aren’t Mousy
On the other hand, presenting your ideas as questions or as though they need approval makes them seem flawed and unconvincing. If you tend to be shy, focus on presenting your ideas as statements and interesting facts for the other party to mull over. Also, remove qualifiers from your speech. When you are trying to be persuasive, there is no room for “I think” or “It is possible that.”5. They Use Positive Body Language
Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice (and making certain they’re positive) will engage people and open them up to your arguments. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and leaning towards the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language that persuasive people use to draw others in. Positive body language will engage your audience and convince them that what you’re saying is valid. When it comes to persuasion, how you say something can be more important than what you say.6. They Are Clear and Concise
Persuasive people are able to communicate their ideas quickly and clearly. When you have a firm grasp on what you’re talking about, it’s fun and easy to explain it to those who don’t understand. A good strategy here is to know your subject so well that you could explain it to a child. If you can explain yourself effectively to someone who has no background on the subject, you can certainly make a persuasive case with someone who does.7. They Are Genuine
Being genuine and honest is essential to being persuasive. No one likes a fake. People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It’s difficult to believe someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel.Persuasive people know who they are. They are confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin. By concentrating on what drives you and makes you happy as an individual, you become a much more interesting and persuasive person than if you attempt to win people over by trying to be the person they want you to be.
8. They Acknowledge Your Point of View
An extremely powerful tactic of persuasion is to concede the point. Admit that your argument is not perfect. This shows that you are open minded and willing to make adjustments, instead of stubbornly sticking to your cause. You want your audience to know that you have their best interests at heart. Try using statements such as, “I see where you are coming from,” and “That makes a lot of sense.” This shows that you are actively listening to what they are saying, and you won’t just force your ideas upon them. Persuasive people allow others to be entitled to their opinions and they treat these opinions as valid. They do this because it shows respect, which makes the other person more likely to consider their point of view.Related: 13 Habits of Exceptionally Likable People
9. They Ask Good Questions
The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening is failing to hear what’s being said because they are focusing on what they’re going to say next or how what the other person is saying is going to affect them. The words come through loud and clear, but the meaning is lost. A simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions. People like to know you’re listening, and something as simple as a clarification question shows not only that you are listening but also that you care about what they’re saying. You’ll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.10. They Paint a Picture
Research shows that people are far more likely to be persuaded by something that has visuals that bring it to life. Persuasive people capitalize on this by using powerful visual imagery. When actual images aren’t available or appropriate, these people tell vivid stories that breathe life into their ideas. Good stories create images in the mind of the recipients that are easy to relate to and hard to forget.11. They Leave a Strong First Impression
Research shows that most people decide whether or not they like you within the first seven seconds of meeting you. They then spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying their initial reaction. This may sound terrifying, but by knowing this, you can take advantage of it to make huge gains in your likeability and ability to persuade. First impressions are intimately tied to positive body language. Strong posture, a firm handshake, a smile, and opening your shoulders to the person you are talking to will help ensure that your first impression is a good one.12. They Know When to Step Back
Urgency is a direct threat to persuasion, so tread lightly. When you try to force people to agree instantly, studies show that they are actually more likely to stand by their original opinion. Your impatience causes them to counter your arguments in favor of their own. If your position is strong, you shouldn’t be afraid to back off and give it time to sink in. Good ideas are often difficult to process instantly, and a bit of time can go a long way.13. They Greet People by Name
Your name is an essential part of your identity, and it feels terrific when people use it. Persuasive people make certain they use others’ names every time they see them. You shouldn’t use someone’s name only when you greet him or her. Research shows that people feel validated when the person they’re speaking with refers to them by name.If you’re great with faces but have trouble with names, have some fun with it, and make remembering people’s names a brain exercise. When you meet someone, don’t be afraid to ask his or her name a second time if you forget it right after you hear it. You’ll need to keep the name handy if you’re going to remember it the next time you see the person.
14. They Are Pleasers
Persuasive people never win the battle only to lose the war. They know how and when to stand their ground, and yet they are constantly making sacrifices that help their cause. They are always giving in, giving ground, and doing things for other people that make them happy. Persuasive people do this because they know in the long run this wins people over. They know it’s better to be successful than it is to be “right.”15. They Smile
People naturally (and unconsciously) mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to. If you want people to like you and believe in you, smile at them during a conversation, and they will unconsciously return the favor and feel good as a result. Persuasive people smile a lot because they have genuine enthusiasm for their ideas. This has a contagious effect on everyone they encounter.Related: 9 Things Successful People Won't Do
Putting It All Together
Persuasive people are adept at reading and responding to other people. They rely heavily on emotional intelligence (EQ) to bring people to their way of thinking. With 90% of top performers high in emotional intelligence, it’s no wonder that persuasive people rely on this skill to get ahead. Add these skills to your repertoire, and you’re on your way to joining this exclusive group.A version of this article first appeared at TalentSmart.com.
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15 attributes that exceptionally persuasive people use to their advantage... great advice.
I would say they also listen. http://blog.tdsbusiness.com/tips-advice/the-1-way-to-motivate-people/
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10 Tips for Women to Improve Their Persuasion Skills
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Judy Shapiro/Twitter
While we women have made great strides in business leadership in
recent years, we still face daily competition, from both male and female
colleagues. Whether we’re facing questions from potential investors or
asking for a salary increase, it is important for us to be as persuasive
as possible.
Related: 9 Habits of Persuasive Business Leaders
The power of persuasion can propel a leader forward. The good news is, persuasion is a major strength for women. In fact, a study from Caliper found that female leaders studied were more persuasive than their male counterparts. Here are ten tips to help women fine-tune their persuasion skills to improve business success.
A female leader can use her ability to read the reactions of others, consider them and apply them in a way that appeals to her listeners' concerns. Instead of pushing others to see their point of view, female professionals often tend to be more gentle, a quality that can be much more effective.
Related: How to Get People to Do What You Want
Professionals today are challenged to convince others to understand and accept their way of thinking. By honing confidence and practicing persuasive techniques, female professionals can dominate every business meeting and networking opportunity, advancing in their careers and succeeding in everything they do.
Related: Saying It Right -- 8 Rules for Getting People on Your Side
Related: 9 Habits of Persuasive Business Leaders
The power of persuasion can propel a leader forward. The good news is, persuasion is a major strength for women. In fact, a study from Caliper found that female leaders studied were more persuasive than their male counterparts. Here are ten tips to help women fine-tune their persuasion skills to improve business success.
1. Use your strengths.
The Caliper study specifically mentioned traits like assertiveness, willingness to take risks and empathy as beneficial to female leaders. Instead of quashing these personality features, women should learn to apply them in professional settings, where they become valuable tools.A female leader can use her ability to read the reactions of others, consider them and apply them in a way that appeals to her listeners' concerns. Instead of pushing others to see their point of view, female professionals often tend to be more gentle, a quality that can be much more effective.
2. Find common ground.
Everyone you meet throughout the course of your day will likely have something in common with you. Whether it’s disgust with the persistent bad weather or a shared hobby, like wine-tasting or fine food, you should find this common ground and use it as a springboard. People will be much more responsive once you’ve connected on a personal level.3. Solve a problem.
Before explaining your product to someone, first ask a few questions. Extract important data that can be used to convince the other person that your business can help. If you’re seeking investment dollars, learn about the type of business the investor is interested in, then explain how your business is exactly what that investor wants.Related: How to Get People to Do What You Want
4. Prepare for arguments.
The longer you’re in a particular industry, the more arguments you’ll hear against it. Over time, you’ll develop an arsenal of answers to these common complaints. One of the most important tools of persuasion is your ability to counter these objections with convincing counter-arguments. Before you find yourself in the middle of one of these conversations, make sure you’ve prepared for all the objections someone could have.5. Be persistent.
Out of fear of seeming too aggressive, professionals are often reluctant to consistently reach out to someone. Persistence can pay off, however, especially when follow-up actions are well timed. You may have a lunch meeting with a potential client early in the year and find he’s not currently interested in your product. However, a few months later, that person’s circumstances may change. By being politely persistent, you’ll find that you land deals you might not have otherwise done.6. Do your research.
Most people you meet each day are primarily interested in their own lives. A person’s business and family occupies the vast majority of his or her mind space. Make it a point to research in advance every person you will encounter, so you can position yourself to reach out on a personal level. If you go into a meeting knowing exactly why someone would be interested in what you have to say, you’re more likely to successfully connect.7. Take notes.
Professionals come into contact with so many people throughout the course of a workday that they’re impressed when they meet someone who remembers them. Make an effort to remember names and crucial details about each person you meet. For many people, this means keeping a contact database with information like children’s names, favorite meals and items you’ve previously discussed. If you spot someone at an event, you can quickly refresh your memory on these small details before approaching that person.8. Use names often.
A person responds on a subconscious level when she hears her own name. Once you’ve learned someone’s name, work it into the conversation intermittently without being too obvious. Once you become aware, you’ll likely notice that some of the most persuasive people in the world use this ego-building technique.9. Use "mirroring."
Studies have found that body language is an important part of communication, often influencing how one person perceives another. "Mirroring" is a popular body language technique that helps build rapport. As you’re speaking to someone, adjust your body language to match his in subtle ways. If he shifts his weight from one foot to another, shift yours. You should also adjust the volume of your voice to match his to increase the perception that you’re operating from the same place.10. Be confident.
Confidence is an important factor in business success. When you project fear, others see this as a weakness. Instead, go into each interaction with the confidence that you know exactly what you’re doing. That confidence will be contagious.Professionals today are challenged to convince others to understand and accept their way of thinking. By honing confidence and practicing persuasive techniques, female professionals can dominate every business meeting and networking opportunity, advancing in their careers and succeeding in everything they do.
Related: Saying It Right -- 8 Rules for Getting People on Your Side
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