Today I spent nearly 3 hrs to watch that documentary film called "TABOO" - the view discretion is considered. You know what they said abt, it's abt love that is different from the others including: objection sexual, sexual surrogate and age gap in love.
1. Objection sexual:
It showed two typical examples in Berlin and United States. The first one is abt the woman who fell in love with Berlin wall, she considered it as her soulmate, feel the affection, etc. At first, i think it's kinda weird, but then found it interesting under scientific scope. Personally, i think it's their own right to choose their lovers, whether it's a human being or an object. They feel love and being loved - that's enough, no harm to others. The second story flies us to US with the man who truly love his car since he was 19 years old. That love has been lasting for 50 yrs, he kisses, touches, sitting beside it as a wife.
Scientist and psychologist show that objection sexual mainly comes from 2 main reasons: ppl may get sexually abused during their childhood, being treated like an object, thus, leads to a sympathy with objects in their adulthood and fall in love. The other way is they show an extreme feeling for their beloved object and considered it as their soul-mate.
And i think i can have a sympathetic view for objection sexual topic now
2. Sexual surrogate:
This term is kinda new to me but through watching this documentary film and check on wikipedia, i got to know it better, broaden my horizon a little bit
It can be defined as
"A sexual surrogate is a member of a three-person therapeutic sex therapy team consisting of surrogate, client, and supervising therapist.[1] The surrogate engages in education and sometimes intimate physical relations or sex with a patient to achieve a therapeutic goal. The practice was formally introduced by Masters and Johnson with their work on Human Sexual Inadequacy in 1970.
Most surrogates are women, a few are men,[2]
and there are married couples that practice surrogacy together. Some
surrogates work at counseling centers while others have their own
office.
Many surrogates have professional certification in the fields of sex education, somatic psychology, sexology, psychology, or counseling. This allows them to work in an interdisciplinary mode including psychiatrists, psychologists, sexologists
and other therapists in the best interests of the person or
relationship. Sex surrogates use a combination of techniques, for
example, listening, psychoeducation, practical guidance and hands-on demonstration – to help a person or a relationship resolve their own issues with human sexuality." (Wikipedia)
First, i want to make it clear that it's a therapy which include client and therapist. There is no sexual relationship here. Second, that woman does not make love only as sex worker on the street. She actually shows them how to start making love, etc. I think it's more abt technique rather than making love. So I partly appreciate it, though it's still much against the tradition. In younger age, that woman can have 3-5 clients per day, now at the age of 67, it's around 2-3. The interviewers asked whether her husband feel being betrayed abt her profession, which also come along with having sex with hundred of men. She just smiled. In this case, dont judge a book by its cover, they are still a happy couple and believe it or not, her husband used to be her client. In his viewpoint, she works at home, as a therapist, helping people out, and doesnt have sexual relationship with them. That's the keypoint. The documentary film also revealed that in the past, the number of sexual surrogate was thousand but decreased dramatically then. Maybe because this field can easily violate the boundary between client-therapist and sexual relationship. Until now, this woman is one of 15 therapists that still work in this field in US. The confidentiality between client and therapist must be concerned too.
I learned from this woman's story that we should view a problem from multi perspectives.
3. Age difference in love:
The story of a 32-yr-old man with his 64-yr-old wife. That sounds weird, but actually they are still a happy couple anyway. Traditionally, old husband-young wife doesnt come up with many problems as young husband-old wife as the man is usually considered as the breadwinner who have to take care of his wife etc. But in this case, young husband - old wife bears more common with mother-son relationship rather than a couple. Actually, this couple get used to disapproval from the community. Wife said that they got an outrage at first but then make it easy. They are happy - that's enough, no matter what others say or criticize. I admire this couple - the power of love ! Though their British accent is a little bit different to catch up, their behavior, kiss and all show that they are truly happy with their love now. Wish them the best in the future - forever happy !
At the end of the film: People always seek for love and companion, even if it's out of the tradition and referred as "TABOO" !
I dont usually mention or discuss in depth about sex and related issues. However, this documentary film is an exception. It makes me think a lot about how we should look at a problem and have a better understanding about some fields that we have never heard of.
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