1. Not talking about problems.
If you repress yourself in a relationship to avoid fights and arguments you are running the risk of getting into worse problems in the future. As not being honest and not speaking about your issues in a relationship creates more problems for one another. When you have problems make sure that you tell it to your partner and reach a final conclusion so that you are fully aware of each others’ terms.
2. Pretending to agree.
Pretending to agree with your partner when you actually do not create a wrong conception of your partner about your character. And over a period of time, your partner shall continue forming expectations from you without your knowledge. It might create a lot of misunderstandings in the future. Thereby, it is always better, to be honest about your opinions and making it clear how far you are willing to go.
3. Making fun of them too much.
Fun and games can seem entertaining in the beginning but if such tendencies are kept unchecked the line between fun and offense is soon crossed. Sometimes a little harmless joke can trigger the memory of a traumatic episode of the past. Therefore, it is advisable to be very cautious with your words.
4. Excessive complaining.
People need to be more grounded and rational. We cannot have everything we wish for in life. People who cannot accept this harsh truth are the ones who complain about every small inconvenience they face. Such people are often hard to please and they won’t be satisfied with anything as they expect too much. They are destined to be lonely as no one can meet up to their standards.
5. Silent Treatment.
Neither does the age old silent treatment have any solution and nor is it pleasant. If you are angry at your partner it is better to tell your partner what you are angry about and sorting things out. When you go quiet it is painful for your partner and such episodes over a prolonged phase eventually create a rift. Communication is the secret to a healthy relationship.
6. Creating scenes in public.
The are many people who love to make a spectacle of their private lives by making drama in public. If you are having a disagreement with your partner keep it within yourselves. No one else needs to know about it. You are the ones who are supposed to solve it because it is a matter solely concerning you two.
7. Not taking care of yourself.
It is impossible to love someone else if you do not love yourself. Your relationship starts with you and you cannot put in your best into the relationship if you do not take care of yourself. Without being conscious of your own needs you cannot reach out to the needs of another person.
8. Keeping tabs.
Keeping tabs can be one of the worst things to destroy any relationship. We should realize that there is no point in remembering fights that have occurred in the past and blaming our partner for it in the present. This results in an unending blame-game and isn’t it very obvious that if we are too obsessed with the past then we won’t be able to enjoy the present moment?
9. Speaking ‘half-truths.’
A bitter truth is always better than a sweet lie because it hurts a lot to come to know later that your loved one had lied to you. Initially passing off a white lie can seem to be the more convenient option for you but such lies gradually gather up through the years and create a relationship based on innumerable such lies. Such bonds don’t last.
10. Being too self-centered.
I had said earlier that your relationship starts with you but it does not mean that it should end with you as well. Besides looking after yourself you should watch out for you partner as well and share their burdens as well. When a relationship becomes centered around one person it soon becomes more of an ego-battle than a relationship.
Which habit that your partner has annoys you the most? Share your experiences and views in the comments section below! Stay happy and love life!
Source: https://themindsjournal.com/silly-habits-ruin-relationships/?utm_content=buffer318a8&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer
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The 7 Signs That You've Found Yourself a Loving Relationship
The most challenging relationship we will ever have is with ourselves. The goal of each of our lives is to be present for whatever happens to us—no matter what that looks like. Our life, no doubt, will be fraught with ups and downs, transitions, obstacles, challenges, accomplishments, and triumphs. Ideally, we will learn from our experiences so that moving forward, our lives will be better, healthier, and more meaningful. The adage “know thyself” says it best: The first, and most essential, job of our lifetime is to know who we are as best we can, in the fullest form that is possible.
Once we have a pretty good idea about who we are and what we stand for, we are ready to begin the journey of being ourselves in a relationship. Having an intimate relationship with another person is perhaps the second-most-challenging relationship any of us will ever have. Not only are we being asked to keep up the work of making sure we live our own life to its fullest capacity and potential, we are now asked and challenged to incorporate the full capacity and potential of another human being into a relationship. You can imagine how complex and difficult it is to create an experience that is healthy, honest, respectful, inclusive, joyful, and loving, and that values and promotes individual expression and personal growth for both partners.
Although intimacy, friendship, familiarity, connection, and safety are hallmarks of a successful relationship, there are seven essential principles that define a loving (and healthy) relationship.
1. You participate in each other’s learning and growth.
Each of us is a mirror for the other. We learn from the feelings and behaviors of our partner. Gaining new perspectives through our partner’s life enhances the quality of our own; the relationship is a win-win situation. In addition, our partner’s interests may serve as fertile ground for our own new learning and growth. As our partner grows, we grow, too.
2. You value and respect each other’s individuality and boundaries.
We are all different. Our individual differences should never be seen as being “less than” someone else’s, but as opportunities to gain a new perspective. A healthy relationship nurtures and embraces each of our special qualities. Be wary of relationships that attempt to control you; that try to squash your individuality because it threatens a partner when you don’t see things their way; or that put you down because are too independent. Be wary of a partner who tries to make you be just like them because that is the only way they are comfortable in a relationship.
In a healthy, loving relationship you respect your partner’s boundaries. You give each other the space you need away from the relationship to be alone, to be with friends, and to pursue your own interests.
3. You encourage healthy communication and dialogue.
You feel free and comfortable to say what’s on your mind. It should not be expected that you and your partner will agree on everything, so it’s essential to keep your communication straightforward and honest—not critical or judgmental, and not shaming or blaming. You really “listen” to what your partner is saying, not just the words, but the way they express their emotions and feelings, and their behaviors and actions.
4. You share like or similar values.
Ideally, you’re on the same page about key life issues—family values, raising children, religious and spiritual life, even politics. Having a similar way of looking at life creates a shorthand way to relate to each on important issues. That’s not to say that people from different backgrounds, cultures, religions, and ideologies can’t be your ideal partner. These differences may take more time to understand and work out, but that’s totally possible when partners value each other enough to make the relationship work.
5. You trust each other without question.
Trust means that you believe that your partner has what it takes to weather the storms of life and come through them standing by your side. Trust implies the unshakable confidence that no matter what happens, your partner will remain loyal to you and the relationship, will honor their commitments, will not lie, and will remain open to working out whatever difficulties arise.
6. You share major life decisions and choices.
Problems will inevitably arise during a relationship, but no one partner should call all or most of the shots. Rather than feel frustrated and angry when problems arise, it’s important to keep in mind that part of the commitment to a loving relationship is getting over your personal feelings and expectations in order to work out a solution that's in the best interest of both partners. In fact, it often takes two to get the right compromise, the right balance, drawing upon each person’s previous knowledge, experience, and wisdom. Learning how to give and take is an important process in problem-solving. But above all, each partner should contribute equally to making major decisions and choices.
7. You are able to let things go and move on.
Life is all about change and transition. Nothing stays still or the same, as much as we may sometimes want it to because it makes us feel more secure and safe. Inevitably, the twists and turns of life will find their way into each and every relationship, and as partners, we need to find a way through to the next part of the journey. Although we may be disappointed, frustrated, or even traumatized by what life has thrown at us, a loving, healthy relationship teaches us that by standing together and moving forward together we will successfully reach what waits for us on the other side. Unity provides strength and balance.
Our most loving relationships are sacred and precious to us and deserve our full, undivided, ongoing attention, respect, nurturing, kindness, and tender-loving care.
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201612/the-7-signs-youve-found-yourself-loving-relationship?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost
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