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“I just think that people are looking to blame someone else for their problems. They’re worried about the wrong stuff. They’re too fixated on what other people are getting. I wasn’t able to go to college. My mom raised five kids on her own. I’ve had to work since I was sixteen. So I haven’t gotten to do all the things I wanted to do. But I’ve never complained. I’ve never been ‘too good’ for a job. I worked at Burger King. I worked at Walmart. Now I work at Chrysler. And I got promoted at all three places. I've never had a problem getting noticed. Managers notice things. If you don’t complain, and work hard, and pick up shifts, you’ll move up. So I don't complain. I’m twenty-eight now. I have no debt. Chrysler even has a program where they’ll pay for my college. I've got enough to help out my mom. I’m actually picking her up a new dryer right now.”

(Source: Human of New York)

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HOW TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF GOAL SETTING

Losing 100 pounds, finishing a marathon, becoming a world-class athlete, winning a bodybuilding championship – for many, these are the lofty aspirations that make up long-term goals. In fact, they are the very definition of stretch goals and are typically highly touted as the ultimate drivers of success. Stretch goals are defined as long-term goals that require an exponential change in lifestyle. However, despite how inspiring stretch goals are, they just don’t work.

Stretch goals don’t work

Stretch goals and long-term goals are actually holding you back on your fitness journey for two big reasons:

Stretch Goals are “De-motivating” by Design

The point of a stretch goal is to stay out of reach. But who wants to work towards something that is impossible, or extremely hard, to reach? When a goal is too lofty, it becomes tempting to quit at the first setback. Psychologically, unattainable stretch goals encourage giving up early when there are missteps or it feels as if results are taking too long.

Stretch Goals Encourage Risky Behavior

Trying to achieve something that feels out of reach requires drastic action. Suddenly, extreme dietary changes, marathon-length workout sessions and pushing your body dangerously past its limits seem necessary. Although drastic actions may seem to push you forward right away, they can actually set you up for injury, illness and even more demotivating falls later on.

If stretch goals don’t work, what does?

When considering how to achieve your goals, success often lies in small wins and daily, action-oriented goals that focus on improvement.

Small wins and daily changes are actually the opposite of stretch goals and they are a lot more attainable and motivating. While stretch goals are lofty, long-term and unattainable, small wins are here and now.

Have you ever written out a long, overwhelming to-do list and then added one thing you had already done just so you could cross it off? Seeing that one accomplishment alongside all those looming tasks motivates you to do the next one. That’s a small win. If you can accomplish the first thing, you can accomplish the next one. If you can win today you can win tomorrow.

Define Success

When working towards those small wins and daily goals, define success in terms of improvement rather than results. Instead of thinking about how many miles you want to run, how many pounds you need to lift or how long you should spend at the gym, think in terms of doing better than yesterday, last week, or ever before. Thinking about improvement, rather than results, sets you up for success. Even if you fall short of whatever the magic number is, as long as you improved you get the motivation that comes with meeting the goal.

Finally, phrase your daily goals as actions rather than desires. Ditch the last part of “I will try” and turn it into “I will.” Replace “I want to” with “I am going to.” By phrasing your goal as an action, rather than a hope, you create success as a forgone conclusion.

By shunning stretch goals in favor of small wins and attainable daily goals, you eliminate the motivation and risky behaviors that come with pie-in-the-sky dreams. By focusing on the here and now, you get a fresh start every day. Even if you stumble or back slide, it’s still ok because you haven’t ruined months or years of work. You just get to start over, and win tomorrow. While you are focusing on the small wins and daily improvements, you are actually climbing the big mountain without realizing it. Pretty soon what feels like baby steps will actually land you at the peak.